A Perfect Match

Posed on 02 January 2016

When I meet somebody new or encounter a stranger and it’s discovered that I am an astrologer, the question I’m asked most frequently is, bizarrely, “what sign am I?” My response depends on my mood. If I’m feeling patient, I’ll jokingly ask if they don’t know. Ha Ha ha. But if I’m feeling a little more short-tempered, I’ll respond that, as I’m not a clairvoyant, I don’t know. However, that question is really what might be termed a nuisance query, something that is designed to be irritating. But next question isn’t provocative. And it is usually asked with enormous sincerity – if not a certain urgency. That question is “What sign is the best match for me?” it would appear that too many newspapers and magazines have printed just too many graphs showing which sign goes with which, and this has left a public believing that if somebody would just tell them their ideal partner’s sign, they’d live happily ever after. Not surprisingly, it isn’t that easy. The signs are rather like nationalities. If Aries are the Italians of the zodiac, Taureans are the French, Geminis the Danes and Cancerians the Americans. (this is only an example – no more!). But just as you couldn’t say that every Italian would get along with every French person, so expecting one sign of the zodiac to be a perfect match to another is completely unrealistic. Yet the myth of the perfect match persists. Of course often the actual birth charts of two individuals are compared. I often do this for clients. And not just for marriage. It’s offers incredibly useful information in business, dealing with colleagues or in hiring. And in the family, understanding a child’s chart can smooth out one of life’s most challenging relationships. But it is true, charts are compared when considering marriage. Clients come, asking about a potential partner. And, of course, in Asia, often it will be parents who are considering a match for a son or daughter, will ask that the charts be compared. This can be enormously illuminating. While the sign in which the Sun is positioned might be noted, it is by no means the deciding factor. Actually the relative positions of the Mercury of each individual – for communication – and the Saturn of each, for stability, will be noted. It’s like a corporate merger, in which the balance sheets of each are examined. Interestingly, Venus, the planet of romance, is less important than the others. But then, in such matches, the couple don’t expect to be swept away by romantic passion. On the contrary, whether they’ve actually met before or not – and still, today, many will have not met – they expect to get to know each other. Over time. And they expect love to grow. Gradually. I personally know several very happy and contented couples whose marriages were arranged. And because they trusted others – their parents and families – to make a perfect match, gave themselves time to know and understand each other. It’s a very different approach from seeking “the right” sign of the zodiac and expecting an easy ride. While few in the west have families who’ll do the match-making, it is possible to view the search for the perfect partner or the process of learning to live happily with the one you have with the same tolerance as exists in the East. Allowing love to grow, letting understanding and trust develop over time.